5 Things to Know If Your Partner is a Narcissist | Wednesday Brunch

wine glasses,

Happy Wednesday! It’s been quite some time since the last blog post! Let’s get right into it! With the world of social media developing and more and more people sharing their personal lives and the audiences being able to relate, it makes it refreshing for individuals to not feel alone or as if things only happen to them. Today’s brunch topic is narcissistic partners.

First of all, if you’re not sure what a narcissist is, let’s get that definition out the way:

A person who has an excessive interest in themselves.

Control. The need to control and have the final decision over everything and YOU. Having to be in control of everything that you do, or that you two do together. But at the same time leave the big, important decisions up to you with minimal input. This can be what you wear, or places that you go. They’ll hear you out but in the end it comes down to what they think you should do. The want to control your emotions, how you react to things is invalid. Your feelings don’t matter, its ultimately always about how THEY feel,how you make them feel,anything otherwise they see you as selfish. Also the need to control how you speak to them and what choice of words you use. I.e slang, the use of abbreviations when texting.

Insecure. Whether its social media followers, to obsessing over what pictures you post or don’t post. Down to if you have opposite sex associates and very specific details on how you met that individual and how that individual feels about you to have reassurance there was not ever a romantic relationship between the two of you. Who you speak to in public. Even introducing you to their friends of the opposite sex, maybe a no-go and they’ll tell you, “they’re not that important for you to know”.

Manipulation. Once they have an issue with something that you may or may not have done that they dislike, they will always be the victim. If they ask you a question in a way that they want to make sure you’re not offended or defensive, but at the same time, ask in a way that they already won’t believe your answer. They already have it in their mind that you’re lying and you are hiding something. They may not even give you a chance to explain yourself. Any issue that you may have with them, they will flip the script and themselves the victim and you’re wrong for feeling how you feel. You could be having a great day, or even a great week without any issues and out the clear blue they bring up an issue and it’s always about how you made them feel a certain way about something. But in public, you’re the best person ever, and they’re so happy with you and love to show you off and wants the world to know, but behind closed doors you were arguing about how you responded to a text message.

Smothering. If you’re not at work, or at school, you two are together. Everything you do is together. Now being together is not necessarily a bad thing or a red flag, however, if their attitude changes when you have plans that do not include them, thats when you want to pay close attention. They maybe okay with it at the time, but then the day of the event, they may start an argument. Stick to your guns, and GO to that event, and do not feel bad, enjoy your time.

Impulsive. Moving quickly in the relationship. Wanting to move-in together or even having a key to your place. Also changing YOU. If you do something that they do like and they let you know it bothers, they want you to act FAST and change it. However they feel in that moment, you must act accordingly. I.e. “I don’t like that you follow such and such on Twitter”. So that means you need to stop what you’re doing and unfollow that person. If they text you, you must reply within 5 minutes, otherwise it will be an issue that can turn into a whole argument.

These are just SOME of the things to look out for when you begin to see red flags when dating. Don’t be alarmed and think every person possesses these characteristics, but don’t be blind to the red flags, and don’t overlook these things nor believe that they will change or it will get better, it only gets worse.

Feel free to share your thoughts and experiences with a narcissist significant other, you can comment anonymously below.

Thank you for reading and cheers to Wednesay Brunch!

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