When it comes to finding the right one our first instinct is to look for what we are use to. We are used to what we like, we all have our “list” of what we like in someone, what we look for as far as physical features. We’re drawn toward what catches our eye. Up for debate, can you look past the physical features and be attracted to someone mentally and no physical attraction what so ever? This can go either way, you can be attracted to someone physically but when you get to know them they aren’t your cup of tea. They can be less than what you’re attracted to physically but their personality is superb.
Physical is what gets your attention, the personality is what keeps your interest. You can have all the physical features someone is looking for but if your personality is sour, it’s likely they’ll delete your phone number. One can seem shallow if they feel as though physical features are important before even getting to know someone.
I had a conversation with my mom the other day and she said “you learn to love someone”, and at first I was not feeling it and I didn’t agree with it but as she explained her reasoning behind it, it made sense. As you get to know someone from the inside , that will make them attractive to you more than any physical feature.
She then went on to share that she once met someone and they talked on the phone for three weeks before meeting in person. While he wasn’t a perfect 10 visibily, she looked past that because she liked his personality and their conversations over those three weeks. He ended up in the friend zone though. So that’s my point! Most times when someone has a great personality but you’re not attracted to them physically, it doesn’t go anywhere.
I have girl talk with my close friends and they have shared that they have dated guys whom they wouldn’t normally date but because they made them laugh and they had good conversation they looked past the appearance.
Personally, the way my attention span, easily annoyed, easily turned off mood is set up, I can’t do it. My facial expressions won’t allow me to go further , I may not even notice you if something about you doesn’t catch my eyes. I do an assessment , I check the shoes, the face and the hair, then I check to see how you carry yourself with your conversation amongst others, and how you walk that shows me you have confidence. If none of that draws me toward you #issa no for me. One may say well then there is your problem, you’ve been single for quite sometime now, you should take a different approach to things. I’m all about trying new things, and getting out of my comfort zone but I can’t force anything. If I’m not physically attracted to you I would have sympathy and in the back of my mind you’re already in the friend zone and there’s no free pass to get out.
I get it, just because he’s attractive doesn’t mean he’ll treat you right, but that’s apart of getting to know someone and I’ll figure that out sooner than later. Just because he isn’t attractive to you doesn’t mean he isn’t a great guy, I’m sure that maybe the case but he has to be a 7 and up on a scale of 1-10. Everyone likes what they like, just because you may not find someone attractive doesn’t mean someone else won’t.
I just booked my flight to Wakanda. Talk to you soon! Thanks for reading!