It’s 4:30 am Friday morning and I haven’t been to sleep yet. I finished my last client of the day at 8 pm. I woke up Thursday morning with a booked schedule and I am grateful. I also woke up feeling like I need to recharge and reset.
We all know I’m an introvert. I like people but at the same time I don’t like people. I get social anxiety when it comes to large crowds, mixers, talking in front of people, going out in general and not wanting to run into certain people.
I have the same friends since 9th grade who turned into my sisters and we may not talk daily or see each other often, the love still remains.
I texted the same 5 people “good morning”, “what you doin”. I’m not seriously dating anyone and it’s because of the obligation to communicate frequently.
Unexpectedly, every so often, I’ll turn my phone on do not disturb for days, turn off all notifications, for days and live in my own little bubble. I’ll write, watch movies, listen to old R&B songs, write down goals, watch some Youtube videos and not once look at my phone.
Being an introvert, I am alone most of the time. I’m okay with being by myself. I’ll go to the movies by myself, out to eat by myself, drive around and listen to music with no destination.
Every so often plans are made and I’ll make an excuse not to go. The thought of having to entertain people, get cute, do my hair and makeup. I’m a home body. I can’t wait to buy my dream home and not need a reason to leave.
I don’t like routines, I don’t like for people to get use to something that would cause me to feel obligated to fulfill.
I’m sharing this blog post with you all because I want you to know it’s okay to enjoy yourself by yourself. It’s okay if you don’t answer a phone call or don’t reply to texts for 24 hours, don’t feel bad. You have to take care of you in order to be able to help others around you.
Lately I’ve had some sleepless nights. Not because of anyone or any particular issue. But my goals keep me up. When you want something so bad it’s all you think about, that type of thing.
So yes I can relate to Nathan on Insecure, ghosting friends and family is something I’ve done. People will take it personal, people won’t understand and that’s okay. It’s okay to regroup and gather your thoughts.
We hold so many titles as individuals and so many people rely and depend on you and it can be a bit much for one person. Don’t feel bad for putting yourself first.
More on Monday on the Podcast!