It’s the first of the month and I’ve already started making changes for the better on Memorial Day. I had a few heart to heart, honesty for ya ass conversations with a close friend and family member. It was a moment of clarity for me. I will explain in detail why I’m taking a 30 day break from social media and why I went missing on a few people in my life indefinitely.
I’ve taken a social media break before but it has been about two years. I’ve previously deactivated my instagram and Twitter and started all over more than once. I’ve deactivated Facebook for two months before and it felt damn good. In today’s society social media makes the world go ’round. It consumes everyone’s day-to-day life. With me being an introvert I tend to disappear, become distant towards people around me and it’s never anything personal I just need me time and I don’t explain why or how.
The good thing about having my own lifestyle blog I can share my thoughts with you and not feel judged but know that I’m not the only one feeling how I feel. For the last week I’ve been writing in my book I just had to decide how to convey it to WordPress. My mind is always on go , I’m always thinking, deeply, making small things into big things but at the same time telling myself let it be.
This post maybe a bit lengthy so grab some tea, coffee, or a mimosa and relax. I’ll explain two reasons why I’m taking a break from social media and one drastic change I made on Memorial Day.
Although I’m taking a social media break I will continue to blog, you may even see a new post four days out the week. I’ve decided to take a break from social media; twitter , Facebook, and Instagram beginning today because it’s just too much at times. People are so negative. People do things to impress people who could careless about them. People exposing people they were once in a relationship with or friends with. Black women competing when they should be complimenting. I get it, why let that bother me, why pay attention to things like that?! Yeah well negativity is contagious and yes I can simply unfollow these people but even still its highlighted the most on these social sites: negativity. What I also don’t like to see, are people venting to social media as if people aren’t laughing at them and glad that they’re going through something.
The drastic change I made on Memorial Day; erased my phonebook, erased all my photos, unfollow or blocked people on social media and not look back. That last one may have been petty but I don’t even want people to see this glow up. I don’t want any memories, I don’t want any excuse to miss someone and call or text them and quite frankly I don’t want them to have access to me. No “hey big head” or “hey stranger” or “damn, you don’t f*** with me no more”.
I’ve allowed people in my life longer than they deserved to stay. Holding on to a fantasy, holding on to potential and not facing reality, not accepting just who they are and understand they’re not changing. With too many friends, exes, past situations they’ve all been endless cycles. Me holding on because I feel bad for cutting them off. Me thinking life is too short to cut ties with people I care about. At the end of the day my peace and happiness is what’s important and only I should have the power to change that. If you all don’t know I have been single going on a lil’ over four years. I’ve dated here and there, I’ve doubled back and rekindled old situations and I just got tired of it.
These guys were coming back to me when things didn’t work out with who they were with, or if they were going through a rough patch, or if they seen the gym is doing a body good, Instagram post. I’ve had guys express their feelings to me and they’re in full-blown serious ass relationships and I’m just like where does that leave me? Still single, going to an empty bed at night. I would never in life settle or share when it comes to a man , I know my worth and it’s not in my character to settle. So I let go without warning, without explaining, without looking back and for the first time I feel as though a weight has been lifted off my shoulder. I’ve held onto people for years and it just isn’t going anywhere. I can’t put my dating life on hold for someone who I think will come around. I have very low tolerance for excuses to the point I don’t even ask why or care to hear the offered explanation of why I haven’t seen you in months, why you didn’t reply to my text or why we didn’t hang out when we made plans. I won’t say I was ever bitter or on the verge of becoming bitter because I could not allow a man to dictate my mood, but I needed to hear the truth from my cousin and my close friend. Pay attention to action at all times. A man will make time for what he wants. If you’re not a priority , exit stage left. I just wasn’t being chose and I’m okay with that, it’s validation to move on and let go.
This isn’t to bash anyone or sneak diss because well that’s not my style either. But if you feel a type of way, own that ish.
A message I would give to anyone male or female, let go of the past no matter how deep the history goes.
With this 30 days I’m going to enjoy me, go on dates, have no expectations, allow myself to be happy and well continue to go hard in the gym.
A song that relates to this post: https://itun.es/us/H8Wijb?i=1227034410
Xo, thanks for reading!