When it comes to dating there are questions you and your partner should ask each other. Find out what you like/dislike, what are your long term goals, what each other’s beliefs are. This is common sense right? People have a habit of thinking they can change ones mind when it comes to what they want or don’t want. That’s the first mistake.
When you’re so caught up in each other and you feel like this is the one for you and nothing can get in the way of marrying this person, later down the line is when shit hits the fan.
When you’re in a relationship with someone you see each other’s flaws, you find out what you love most about them, what you like the least about them. Some things are deal breakers for some people while other people can look pass what they disagree.
At what point do you discuss marriage and children? 3 Years into the relationship? One the third date? These questions are great for starting conversation. While some people are in different points in their lives and may not see marriage and children in their future, right now, but may see it down the line, or maybe they have not come across the right person that makes them want to be married with children.
The issue is that people are often blinded by love with reality. When people see their life a certain way and want certain things, it has nothing to do with you. If someone doesn’t want to have children it can be an underlying issue of something from their childhood, or perhaps they just don’t see children as part of their legacy. It may not have anything to do with you which means you can’t force your wants on them , you can’t wait years and think one day they’ll change their mind. You’ll be disappointed and resent them. To avoid anymore heartache this topic is best to discuss before walking down the isle.
When I was younger I didn’t want children. I didn’t want children because my dad had a whole football team and only a few of the starting players got time with the coach. I also had a fear of being a single parent and becoming a bitter mother. As I got older and you think about being sick and not having anyone to take care of you , leaving your legacy , thats when I wanted children. You can’t predict the future but I do know I want to be married and I want two children.
You can’t put your fears onto other people, you can’t expect people to want what you want out of life. Agree to disagree, but sometimes love isn’t enough.