Not Into Sex | Wednesday Brunch

A good ice breaker topic when you’re getting to know someone is to talk about sex. Some people may feel like Sex is too personal, others may feel that there’s nothing wrong or no right or wrong place to talk about sex. When you talk about sex, you may ask how many partners one has had, who was the best they ever had, what was their worse encounter….

My mom had me when she was 19, so when I got to high school I vowed to myself I would stand clear of guys and not date because I didn’t want to end up pregnant. My mom never put me on birth control. Sure I had crushes on guys and I even had 1 boyfriend in high school but it shortly ended after he moved away. I kept busy in high school with extra curricular activities.

When I got to college people warned me about “fresh meat” so I made sure I wasn’t nieve and swooned by the cute guys. I never was caught in a guys dorm room alone or doing the walk of shame. In my mind I just thought there was no sense in pursuing a guy because he only wanted sex. This could have prevented me from missing out on a good guy and finding the one, but hey.

My first serious relationship was at the age of 20. We had sex every day damn near and we’re attached at the hip. Practiced safe sex for sure being as though neither one of us wanted to be young college parents still living at home. This wasn’t whom I lost my virginity to though.

People told me when you lose your virginity you go through this “hoe phase”. Especially if the person you lose it to doesn’t stick around long. This is still up for debate.

Later down the line while I was in this relationship, sex felt like I was doing it to please him but I wasn’t really into it. This was after being together for some years and we were living together. He sensed it too.

After that relationship I was celibate for a while and of course dating throughout the years I had some great experiences and I had a few not so good experiences. For me I feel like Sex isn’t everything but when you’re attracted to someone and you’re into them it should be second nature to want to pounce on them.

Without going into great detail because a lady never kisses and tell but I’ve had two men who were top 2 at best head game and then there’s probably top 3 best sex ever had.

Of course I had a F*** buddy before. It was dope no issues at all, when we would see each other out we would speak keep it moving but at the end of the night we knew where we were going. We didn’t go on dates, we texted here and there but it was a mutual understanding. It ended after he caught feelings and I wasn’t looking for a relationship.

With that being said it’s easier for me to be celibate and not care for sex. I feel like Sex can cloud your judgment and get in the way of really getting to know someone for who they are rather than “omg I like him, the sex is great”. I also feel like not having sex is the reason why I barely date because I honestly don’t think guys can date a woman without having sex with her. I’m not saying I’m waiting until marriage nor am I saying I have a 3 month rule but I am not in a rush to have sex with a guy because we have good conversation and you make me laugh.

Sometimes when I have sex, afterwards I might feel like I’m not into this person or this person might play me so I’m going fall back. Whether the sex was good or not I can be easily turned off by a person. I can be all for a guy, attracted to him, like where things are going, but then when it comes to sex, I’m not eh I don’t want to. I know you’re reading this like “she’s weird as hell”, or “she just need to be f***ed one good time”.

Yes I have drunk sex, yes I have drunk dialed an ex and had sex with them and woke up the next day like “we’re not working things out”.

For me to be someone who doesn’t think sex is everything, I’m a very intimate person with the right one. I’m easily turned on by someone I find attractive. For example, whole time he’s talking to me I’m looking at his lips thinking how good of a kisser he is or what his head game is like. So yes it’s true, females no right away if she is going to have sex with a guy or not.

I even had sex with a guy I was dating and never called him again after we had sex simply because I had this thing in my mind that he wouldn’t call me again. So I removed myself. I also was so shallow and left when a guy pulled is pants down and I seen what he was working with wasn’t worth my while.

I’m already an emotional person so when I have sex with someone I needs you to be at my beckon call. I’m an over thinker and thinking the worse is second nature for me. I’m working on it though. One day I’ll meet the man of my dreams and he’ll bring out the freak in me and I won’t think twice about it.

I share this blog post with you all to say. Don’t let anyone tell you when to have sex, when not to have sex. Remember women have sex with who they want and men have sex with who they can. If you’re dating someone try something different, do things you wouldn’t normally do.

1 comment

  1. This my first time viewing this page, seen this on Twitter. Dope that you open up about relationships and sex. Most woman keep it so private that us men be lost. We don’t know if woman want sex like us, this gave some clarification in a sense! You are a savage for making a guy show us package and you said nah I guess size matters

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