Talk Tuesday. Let’s talk about friends with benefits. How do you feel about it? Have you had a friend with benefits, who caught feelings first? I have 5 mistakes women make when friends with benefits.
Whether you’re an entrepreneur, a teacher, an artist, a social media maven or retail cashier, don’t expect family or friends to support your endeavors. Don’t let the lack of support dictate if you achieve your goals. Refrain from any act of pettiness, deleting phone numbers, unfollowing on social media, no contact at all. Give them the choice to support genuinely if they don’t support you, allow them to continue to be that good friend, sister, brother, aunt or uncle to you.
The ultimate goal in life is to be genuinely happy. A successful career, and a loving family, right? In today’s society, is this realistic? Dig deep..
For me ever since I was a little girl I imagined having my own family. I imagined meeting my soul mate, getting married, having two children and having a successful career or just doing something that I loved. Like most women you have an age bracket of when you expect those things to occur, and then life happens.
When I was in high school I had crushes but I didn’t have a boyfriend until 11th grade and it was just cute and innocent. It wasn’t until I went to college that I experienced what a real relationship was and what being in love felt like. When I date someone or I’m interested in someone I think long-term and that can be a gift and a curse. I’m an overthinker, I think too deeply, it doesn’t allow me to enjoy the moment, being in the ‘now’, but I’m learning. The dating phase tends to be complicated for me and I feel like it shouldn’t be. It’s supposed to be fun getting to know someone , talking on the phone, going on dates, meeting each others friends, etc. Then you have thoughts in the back of your mind like , “what are his/her intentions?”, “how many direct messages do they send out?”, “does he/she go on dates for a free meal?”. just go with the flow, what you’re meant to know, you’ll find out eventually.
When I asked is it realistic to have that family and career in this day and age I mean are people getting married to stay married , are people aware of the amount of work that goes into a successful relationship? The sooner you realize no man or woman is perfect and that everyone has flaws, the better off you’ll be.
Finding your niche and being successful in life isn’t as hard as coming across the ‘one’, we all want someone to go on this journey called ‘life’ with us. “Don’t go looking, let love find you”, is what I hear often. When you’re a woman in your late twenties, you get nervous. You start to ask yourself “will it happen?” , “I see everyone else around me getting married, where’s my king/queen?”. The answer is , “in due time“.
I have two girlfriends whom are married and I always ask them for advice, one of whom met her mate around the same time my ex and I started dating. Anyway I always admired how both couples kept their relationship between them and never dished out their dirty laundry on social media. When I asked them if they got married too young, they collectively said they just would have paid more attention to the signs. When you’re in love it often blinds you and you are so caught up , things don’t hit the fan until after you’ve been married and a person shows their true colors. Neither regrets their decisions to walk down the aisle but that they just would have taken their time and paid attention to actions.
Social Media isn’t reality and people have so many #relationshipgoals, but what you fail to realize is that they’re not showing you when they argue, or when they are going through their toughest times, and they shouldn’t. You should know that no relationship is perfect. If you have that certain someone in your life where things didn’t work out due to bad timing , or one of you had to do some growing up, there’s nothing wrong with giving that person a second chance, if opportunity presents itself.
No man or woman is perfect but they can be just right for you. If you’ve never experienced being in love, allow yourself to be open to it.