It’s the first of the month, the last month of the year and we are so close to the ball dropping! Now is the time to get your sh*t together for 2017 so that it can be much better than 2016.
I’ve been contemplating this post for the last 24 hours. Figuring out how to interest my viewers with this topic, figuring where to begin but not ramble too much to keep your attention. I decided to just let it all out and update you on where I’m at as the cold weather arrives and cuffin’ season is in full effect…
The ultimate goal in life is to be genuinely happy. A successful career, and a loving family, right? In today’s society, is this realistic? Dig deep..
For me ever since I was a little girl I imagined having my own family. I imagined meeting my soul mate, getting married, having two children and having a successful career or just doing something that I loved. Like most women you have an age bracket of when you expect those things to occur, and then life happens.
When I was in high school I had crushes but I didn’t have a boyfriend until 11th grade and it was just cute and innocent. It wasn’t until I went to college that I experienced what a real relationship was and what being in love felt like. When I date someone or I’m interested in someone I think long-term and that can be a gift and a curse. I’m an overthinker, I think too deeply, it doesn’t allow me to enjoy the moment, being in the ‘now’, but I’m learning. The dating phase tends to be complicated for me and I feel like it shouldn’t be. It’s supposed to be fun getting to know someone , talking on the phone, going on dates, meeting each others friends, etc. Then you have thoughts in the back of your mind like , “what are his/her intentions?”, “how many direct messages do they send out?”, “does he/she go on dates for a free meal?”. just go with the flow, what you’re meant to know, you’ll find out eventually.
When I asked is it realistic to have that family and career in this day and age I mean are people getting married to stay married , are people aware of the amount of work that goes into a successful relationship? The sooner you realize no man or woman is perfect and that everyone has flaws, the better off you’ll be.
Finding your niche and being successful in life isn’t as hard as coming across the ‘one’, we all want someone to go on this journey called ‘life’ with us. “Don’t go looking, let love find you”, is what I hear often. When you’re a woman in your late twenties, you get nervous. You start to ask yourself “will it happen?” , “I see everyone else around me getting married, where’s my king/queen?”. The answer is , “in due time“.
I have two girlfriends whom are married and I always ask them for advice, one of whom met her mate around the same time my ex and I started dating. Anyway I always admired how both couples kept their relationship between them and never dished out their dirty laundry on social media. When I asked them if they got married too young, they collectively said they just would have paid more attention to the signs. When you’re in love it often blinds you and you are so caught up , things don’t hit the fan until after you’ve been married and a person shows their true colors. Neither regrets their decisions to walk down the aisle but that they just would have taken their time and paid attention to actions.
Social Media isn’t reality and people have so many #relationshipgoals, but what you fail to realize is that they’re not showing you when they argue, or when they are going through their toughest times, and they shouldn’t. You should know that no relationship is perfect. If you have that certain someone in your life where things didn’t work out due to bad timing , or one of you had to do some growing up, there’s nothing wrong with giving that person a second chance, if opportunity presents itself.
No man or woman is perfect but they can be just right for you. If you’ve never experienced being in love, allow yourself to be open to it.
I was on twitter this morning on my way to work and someone had tweeted something that caught my attention that inspired today’s topic. Without offending anyone because I am not married nor do I have kids I wanted to shed light on today’s society.
Of course I had to reach out to viewers on Instagram, Facebook Page, for input and I even received some text message responses. I get a lot of feedback in regards to my daily or weekly blog topics so I wanted to make sure I had something for you all today.
Today’s Blog Talk:
What are your thoughts on planned parenthood? People who feel as though they are ready for children but not necessarily ready for marriage . Is it crazy to compare the two? Should women consider the fact that if they are not married when they have children that they are more likely to become a single parent ?
The tweet that inspired today’s talk:
Men who don’t believe in planned parenthood the ones who don’t like how condoms feel and will suggest you take a plan B.
This, caught me because I see daily babies are born and yes babies are blessings but I am sure if under certain circumstances people would have waited for various reasons before becoming a parent. Why is it people are okay with becoming a parent before becoming a husband or wife? Not to say you marriage first, but is it a thought for you in the future at all?
I guess women have to consider that we are more likely to end up a “single parent” if we aren’t married when we become parents.
A married woman with two children:
You can only plan certain aspects of having a child. If it is from when you want to start trying to conceive or how much money you have saved. You might share expectations with your mate on how you want to raise them and what schools you want them to attend. In reality there is no planning that can really be done for a baby because everything changes after them. Your life is forever altered and the way you think in most cases also. I don’t believe that marriage is necessary to have children in the day that we live in. In most cases people change after marriage. They start to show their true selves since they no longer have to impress their mate to lock them down. Marriage will not make a man provide for a kid or spend time with them. That is all up to the man who you have a child with. Now a days these guys do not want to grow up they want to do the things that they did prior to having true responsibilities. It takes a real man to know what is important and make the necessary sacrifices. Marrying someone before having children doesn’t mean that you won’t still end up being a single parent. You can be married and end up doing all the work just like a single parent or you can get divorced and still become a single parent. My advice would be to be careful picking a mate and always listen to the signs good or bad. Marriage isn’t needed if you two are on the same page of building a solid future together. Children are the best blessings ever and everyone should experience it but if you don’t get married I believe you should still try to have a child someday regardless of having to be a single parent. Mothers do it all anyway we are a lot stronger than we look. On the flip if you find a mate that is willing to work with you and not against you that is a blessing and you will have best of both worlds!
I’m sure when we start dating someone you think long-term, no one wants to waste their time and I’m sure nobody sets out to be a single parent. We can’t predict the future.
A single guy with no children:
I think planned parent hood can be a good thing if both people are ready and have understood what being a parent is. Because bringing in a new life is something that can’t be measured by numbers. But I feel its more risky when you are not married because feels change people change then it’s who does the child go with if there is a split who takes the responsibility more than another really. Things such as insurance care etc all factor in. It’s not a puppy to split but a life a piece of each person. Marriages doesn’t mean commitment or happiness either as we have seen people get divorced but when it comes to children your selection should be that much harder esp for woman because men won’t always admit it but a woman with a child always comes with caution as it’s a responsibility to take hold of that was not planned and you were not their from the beginning. Forces boys to become men and some are not ready for that.
A guy in a relationship with children from a previous relationship:
I feel like everyone should plan and be married first before children. Not that it would guarantee they’re going to stay together but it’s better for the kids to be raised in that type of environment.
A marriage woman with 1 child:
Planned parenthood is so huge just
Imagine how many people feel like their clock is ticking! I think a lot of people may view marriage as something that can happen anytime but having kids is more strategic. I don’t know being a single parent would seem too stressful I don’t know how people do it. I think people know that they’ll be single parents but we all have the urge to have kids to leave a piece of us here.
With all of the responses shared, I can we where they are coming from and I can see that they are speaking from experience. My preference has always been to have children after I am married simply because I did not have parents who were married but they did do their best co-parenting. I also seen friends and relatives go through the motions of having absent parents or being a single parent and I did not want to experience that. As best as I can I would love to walk down the aisle before delivering my first child. My goal has never been to be a “baby’s mother”, but in all reality no one has that as a goal things between two people just don’t work out. It is very important to get to know the individual you are dating and ask yourself do I want them in life long-term, if things don’t work out can I co-parent with them for 18 years?
There are too many baby showers and not enough weddings. I hope today’s topic made you think. Feel free to share your comments below.
Mondays mean fresh start. Finish things you didn’t get to do the previous week. Wake up with a good attitude to conquer the upcoming week. Set short-term goals for the next 7 days.
We all have our Mondays when you hit snooze just a few times, take that extra few minutes to lay in bed. Two days off surely does go by fast but when you do something you love , you enjoy Mondays.
Whether you are in school, a stay at home mom, a career driven individual, we all have the same 24 hours and it is up to us to work towards our goals. Mondays should start off with a great workout, a great breakfast, and a positive outlook on the 5 work days ahead.
Just wanted to shed light and send positive vibes your way. For those of us who procrastinate, get up, get moving, and conquer all the things you have been putting off for tomorrow. If you have a job you don’t like, continue to work hard so that you can get the job you want. If you didn’t feel like going to the gym this morning, look at your progress pictures for motivation.
Thanks for reading, have a great Monday!