Dating in today’s society has become unbelievably complicated. Complicated on both ends, from the man, and the woman. Can you imagine a guy asking to take you out but the catch is you have to pay? Apparently guys want woman to pay for their own flights, and own meals when they go out on dates…pun intended.
We’ve all been put in the friend zone. We’ve all put someone else in the friend zone. Sometimes you may have a friend of the opposite sex that you can appreciate their friendship, so much that you told yourself in the beginning not to catch feelings. How can you avoid the inevitable?
- Say Less. This person doesn’t need to know your life story from childhood to adulthood. Every single thing that has happened to you good or bad. The more you know about each other the more you discover common interests.
- More Group settings than one on one time. When you hang out together in a group atmosphere you’re less likely to feel like you’re on a date or getting that quality alone time to make you feel special. No need for you to be kicking it together in an intimate setting if you’re just friends and you don’t plan on being more than just that.
- No Sex. Do not even go there with the friends with benefits situationship. We know this won’t work. Someone will become emotionally attached especially if the sex is good, you’re not going to want anyone else to experience that.
- Minimize how much you talk to each other. If you talk every single day, rather it’s texting, facetime, phone calls you or that person is more likely to come attached and get use to this person. When you get use to someone it’s all bad for your feelings if you don’t want to be attached. This will become your go to person. 1-3 times a week seems about right.
- Have other friends. Go on dates. When you have other friends that you spend time with and you go out on dates with people, this can split up your attention that you’re giving this friend and it can be less likely you’ll become attached emotionally. This is a good thing for you. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket when it comes to having friends.
*bonus : Think about the baggage this person may have that you know for a fact if you were to go to the next level, it wouldn’t work. Doing this can bring you back to reality. Think about your own baggage as well and why you told yourself from the beginning you didn’t want to catch feelings.
These aren’t rules these are suggestions to things you can do and not do if you do not want to catch feelings for someone who you simply just want to be friends with.
This isn’t a post to say forget starting off as friends and working your way into a relationship. This is simply for those that know for a fact a relationship with this friend would not work so save yourself the disappointment and heartbreak and remain friends.
Sorry for the wait! Here is last weeks episode of The Introverted Single Friend, inspired by the hit HBO series, Insecure.
It’s 4:30 am Friday morning and I haven’t been to sleep yet. I finished my last client of the day at 8 pm. I woke up Thursday morning with a booked schedule and I am grateful. I also woke up feeling like I need to recharge and reset.
A good ice breaker topic when you’re getting to know someone is to talk about sex. Some people may feel like Sex is too personal, others may feel that there’s nothing wrong or no right or wrong place to talk about sex. When you talk about sex, you may ask how many partners one has had, who was the best they ever had, what was their worse encounter….