Nine out Ten Kids are bullied in elementary school. Now a days with social media being the center of everyone’s world, cyber bullying is also at an all time high. With all the things that have transpired in my life I feel it is time to share my insecurities and how I have overcome them but it is still a daily struggle.
The above picture is a picture I posted on my SnapChat last week. It is the first picture that I have ever shared showing my teeth. I’m twenty-something years old and this has been something I’ve hidden forever. Something as simple as a smile showing your teeth is something I could never have the courage to do, not in public at least.
My family of course always tells me my smile is beautiful , I’m so pretty but when it’s your family you kind of feel like they have to tell you that.
Rewind back to elementary school, I was teased but not bullied. Teased about my teeth nothing else. I was never fat or funny built but my teeth was the first thing people would see if I laugh or smile, so I learned to smile without showing teeth.
I’ll never forget standing at the bus one morning a group of boys were trying to get my attention and was pulling on my hair and I turned around and yelled “stop”, and they all laughed and were like “damn”, “oh sh*t, her teeth”. You can imagine the embarrassment. In elementary school when the kids would have rip sessions somehow I always ended up being included. A boy said to me, “it looks you bit a stop sign”.
I don’t think my parents or siblings knew about me being teased in school. I may have told my mom once or twice. When I came home from school it was like a different world. There was always love and happiness in my household, I would forget about being teased. Even though I was teased I never wanted to stay home from school or it didn’t make me dislike school. It would just enhance the shyness.
I always had friends , it would be majority of the boys who would tease me. This would also make me despise boys and I wouldn’t even think to like someone because I knew they wouldn’t talk to me. In high school, I never dated anyone, yes I thought guys were cute but I wouldn’t dare tell anyone. I went to prom with a boy a grade down from me simply because he asked , otherwise I don’t even think I would have went to prom.
Fast forward to college, I had it in my mind as a freshman you were a target for guys to see if they can “take you down” and get what they want and keep it moving, so I didn’t bother dating anyone. You wouldn’t catch me with a guy. I was also insecure about my boobs in particular. Puberty hit hard for me in the 8th grade. Big lips and big boobs is how people would distinguish me from the next girl. When people describe me “oh yeah the one with the big lips”. Girls would ask me if my boobs were real and if they could feel on me, yes these girls were bold. I would always wear tank tops under my shirts and a cardigan or sweater at all times.
Then 2009 , Twitter came about. I would get subtweets about me. If I posted a picture and someone gave me a compliment, someone else would say , “tell her to smile” , or “I bet she won’t show teeth”. People would say, it’s always something , females are always too good to be true, nice body and messed up teeth.
Once I got braces, I was happy I was on the right path to being happy. I feel like it’s never too late to fix yourself, you’re never too old for braces. I was wrong, I still wasn’t truly happy , I didn’t like how I looked. I compared my smile to other people with braces. When people would give me compliments I wouldn’t take them serious at all. I would say thank you of course but I wouldn’t take it as genuine. Now I’m not sharing this with you all for pity I am sharing this because females me the hardest times growing up and tend to not say anything. Females are always being judged and you just never know how it effects them.
Being teased made me feel like everybody wanted something from me and that there were no genuinely nice guys out there. It also made me always expect the worse and that I didn’t deserve for anything good to happen to me. It has held me back from job opportunities and really pursuing goals that I had and I had to put an end to that.
Just last week after visiting the orthodontist something came over me to not give a F anymore. I usually hate any type of dentist appointment because that’s where my Insecurities lie, I hated when they would say,”smile”. I said to myself, stop caring what people think, I’m so hard on myself and so self-conscious of negative comments.
This post is for anyone with insecurities anyone who was ever teased. Find it within yourself to know that you are good enough. Define your own beauty.
Thanks for reading!