Talk Tuesday: You Can’t Keep A Man Whom Doesn’t Want To Be Kept

I would like for my blog post to appeal to both women and men. With today’s blog topic: You Can’t Keep A Man Whom Doesn’t Want to be Kept, is inspired by a Facebook status I came across yesterday.

Ladies to keep a man learn how to cook…..

My response instantly was the same thing another woman commented:

Not true… I can cook I clean make good-looking kids and bring in a great income and guess what my husband (ex) cheated on me while I was pregnant…

I shared my opinion:

There’s no real way to “keep” a man. No matter what you do how good of a woman you are a man can’t be kept he has to realize your worth and be man enough and mature enough to commit solely to you…

This is where both men and women fall short. Believing what you do(asset) depends on if a person will stay with you.

Having a child to keep a man. Time and time again we have all seen women go down this road. More times than not unfortunately women have had children with men thinking that would make them mature and commit to them. For this reason this made men place both feet out of the relationship. It’s not fair to say young minded women do this more than older women because it’s not age specific. Problems that you have in a relationship will not go away when a child comes into the equation, things can get worse. We’ve all watched Love & Hip-Hop and we have seen both Tara and Amina do the same thing to make Peter man up. Ultimate failure.

Making the house a home. You can hold down the house with making sure it’s clean, doing both you and his laundry, make sure he has a hot plate waiting for him when he gets off of work. If this man is not mature enough and not in the right mind-set to commit to only you, none of this will be good enough.

Listen. Communication is key. Listen to what he says he wants, and to what he doesn’t want. You can’t change a man’s mind nor actions. He has to want to change and change for himself, not change for you. Allow room for a man to grow , things won’t change for the better overnight.

Assuming how he treated his ex is the way he will treat you. If he showered her with gifts and attention , wined and dined her, that doesn’t mean he will provide the same treatment to you. Different woman, different bond. Allow your relationship to be your relationship and don’t compare it to previous females he has had encounters with.

Ladies, we have to understand once we realize our worth, and see that no matter how good of a woman we are, it takes a good mature man to notice our worth and appreciate what he has at home that he doesn’t see no other woman. He will also be mature enough to want to commit to a relationship that he took part in and not want his cake and eat it too. We have to see a guy for whom he is and not be blind by the potential in him that we see. You shouldn’t have to bend over backwards for your mate to notice you.


Thanks for reading!


  1. I believe this goes both ways! As it always seems like men are always looked at as not wanting to settle down. A lot of times especially now woman who have this man mindset seem to not want a committed relationship. They are growing to being a savage now where commitment is broken on both sides.

  2. I totally agree with you. If he doesn’t want to stay or mature enough to be in a committed relationship he’s as good as gone. I promised myself to never allow these type of guys the chance to ever waste my time again.

    1. Girl yes. Nobody got time to waste on something that isn’t going anywhere with that person.

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