Chivalry isn’t dead. Courtship still exists. For some women we have our wedding day picked from the color scheme down to the venue. Marriage is a goal for some couples. Some people have a timeframe in which they would like to be married once they find their soul mate. These days women are taking it amongst themselves to not wait for the man to get down on one knee to pop the question…this is where this isn’t going to become the norm. Let’s talk.
In 2011 on Love & Hip-Hop Chrissy Lampkin proposed to Jim Jones on national television. She has been with Jim Jones for over a decade , they do not have any children together but he does have a son from a previous relationship. Chrissy felt like taking the initiative because she doesn’t feel like Jim will get on one knee when she’s ready.
Just the other day The Shade Room posted a video of a woman proposing to her boyfriend and I just was about through. This isn’t okay, this is not the norm. This is not how things should go in a relationship. Under no circumstances do I agree with this or would even think to go ring shopping and pop the question to my man.
3 Reasons Why Proposing To Your Man Is Not The Answer:
Men Mature Slower Than Women: When a man is ready to get one knee and ask his girlfriend for her hand in marriage he will do so. If a man doesn’t feel like you’re not the one, he simply will not ask.
If you’ve been together more than 5 years: Every relationship should talk about their expectations for the relationship. Their beliefs on marriage and kids. If the man you’re dating doesn’t believe in marriage he may not be the one for you. If you’ve been together for more than 5 years and you’re doing all the things a married couple are doing then he may just be comfortable and not feel the need to marry you at this point.
Giving an ultimatum is not always a wise decision: Men do not like to feel pressured to do anything. In some cases timing is everything and in other situations you can’t put a timeframe on it. For example if you say to him, “we’ve been together for 5 years now and we are not married, what are you waiting for”? If the answer is not what you want to hear you may want to reevaluate your relationship. If you’re waiting for him to ask you to marry him , make sure he knows what you want , make your wants and needs clear to him. If he loved you and wants to spend the rest of his life with you, he will make you his wife when HE is ready. You may not be ready at the same time.
Personally as I get older, my standards change , my priorities change. I will not be with a man for 5 years whether we are cohabitation or not , if marriage isn’t the goal, I’m wasting my time. Say way I feel about approaching a guy and asking for his number the first time I see him is the same way I feel about asking a guy to marry me. Yes I always know what I want and they say go after what you want, no ma’am not in these two situations. The man should be a man and step up to the plate and realize what he wants and he should know if the woman he is dating is who he wants to spend forever with.
My ladies on Facebook agreed with me:
I would love to know your thoughts in the comments below.