Happy Wednesday! Grab your wine and get ready to indulge in today’s topic. Why does having a baby cause relationships to end? If you are a parent feel free to share your experiences and thoughts in the comments below. This topic is one reason that some people don’t have children of their own, and this very reason is also why there are many single-parent households.
For this topic, there were many comments from the Facebook viewers in which you can read their responses below. There were very good points expressed from both male and female parents.
That experience really had a lot of people ‘liking’ and agreeing with everything that Darice mentioned especially from mothers. From the outside looking in, you really don’t see what a mother goes through especially as a new mommy.
Post-partum depression is something that men do not understand, and often some women are in denial that they are experiencing it. Post-partum can come in many forms. Having a supportive and attentive partner is very important. 1 in 7 women may experience PPD. 70%-80% will experience some type of ‘baby blues’, many of those mothers will have severe PPD.
This comment was very transparent and even more so coming from a first-time father. You can imagine the stress on both mom and dad when having 2 babies within 18 months AND during a pandemic. You really have to lean on each other for support and be understanding of both feelings involved. You can imagine having a system in place for shifts of when and who feeds, changes, and tends to the baby overall so each parent can sleep, work, shower, EAT, etc. Many couples even broke up during the pandemic, so having 2 new babies, you can imagine feeling overwhelmed, and that can be an understatement.
Unplanned parenting versus planned parenting can go either way. Just because you plan to have children together, doesn’t necessarily prepare you for parenthood, and the obstacles that may arise as new parents. It is definitely ideal to be in a relationship before you have children, a healthy relationship is key. You also want to have those talks about how you plan to parent a child, what are your beliefs on school, religion, chastizing, etc. Of course, if you have relationship problems before becoming a parent, it’s likely those problems will still be there and also maximized when the baby arrives.
Both parents have to take accountability, they have to put their pride aside and it’s no longer just about the two of them. It’s about the new baby and making sure your mind is on point so that you’re capable of being the best parent you can be.
As a woman, you wear many hats in a relationship. Add on being a parent, your roles increase, but it is also on the father to step up and take on roles as well and be a team player. A father and mother both have to be understanding of each other’s needs and sit down and have those uncomfortable but necessary talks of one’s expectations. Even have a conversation where you check in on one another to see what’s lacking and how you plan to move forward to fix those “problems”.
This topic came up because too often you see these scenarios taking place, whether within your own household, your family/friends, or just on social media. A baby is a blessing, but it can be detrimental to a relationship. This can turn a person off of wanting a family of their own when they see others’ relationships not working out after they have a baby.
No one plans to be a single parent. No one plans to not be a family in the same household and raise their child/children with both parents present. We live in a time where we are not staying in the relationship solely “for the kids”, you have to do things for the sake of the children AND your mental health.
If we’re being honest this issue is one reason I am hesitant of being a parent. I definitely want a family and to have children but I fear being a single parent and having to co-parent. I grew up in a single-parent household, my mother held it down working two jobs until we were in high school, she suffered postpartum after the birth of one of my brothers but she dealt with it alone and in silence. No one should have to go through that.
While I’m in my thirties, at child-bearing age, yes I want children, but I also want a supportive, attentive, responsible, respectful, selfless partner.
Share your experiences below and thank you for reading.